Category Archives: Benefits of Notebooking

I, I, I, me, me, me!

Adventures in Notebooking, Benefits of Notebooking, Filling Your Notebook, Writing Prompts

Have you ever met someone who subtly throws you for a loop?  I don’t mean in a bad way, just that while you were talking to this person things were different.  Maybe even better?

Let me tell you the story of Paul.

Paul was a person I used to work with.  Most days, when I saw him, I would make time to talk to him.  You know those common pleasantries we all share?  Like:

“Hi, how are you?”

and

“Good, you?”

Now, everyone who exists in society knows, either tacitly or explicitly, that when someone says, “Hi, how are you?” they aren’t really asking.  It’s just a greeting.  Sure, sometimes you’ll meet someone who, due to their narcissism will throw polite society out the window and verbally vomit at you when you offer a simple, “How’s it going?”.  Run from these narcissists!  They are the human equivalent of a dumpster fire.

Thankfully, Paul wasn’t this way.  But he would eschew the traditional pleasantries, luckily he would replace them with things more interesting.  He would often begin with:

Hello!  What did you do today?

And, what’s more, he actually wanted to know!  It wasn’t some mindless pleasantry.  He was interested in you and asking you for a story.  When I would tell him about my day he would respond with the standard polite nods and the like, but he would also respond with something else.

And I bet you, dear reader, can guess what it was.  If I said I had gone shopping he wouldn’t respond with, “Was it good?” or “How was that?” he would ask something like:

What did you get that you’re most excited about?

or

Did you meet anyone interesting?

As if meeting someone interesting every time you left your house was normal.  Well, for him it was normal!

Conversations with Paul always got very deep very fast and were always uplifting.  This is how Paul was.  If I mentioned something about the snowstorm we had just gotten, he would never say some canned line about shoveling or roads.  He would immediately ask and talk about how my feelings about snow changed from when I was a child wanting to play to now as an adult not wanting to shovel.

Now you might be wondering what it’s like talking to someone like Paul when you’re having a bad day.  Let me tell you… Pretty fantastic.  No matter how I felt before, I always felt better after a conversation with Paul.  He always seemed to strike a perfect balance between what I wanted to hear and what I needed to hear.

I often wondered what made Paul so different, so enjoyable to be around.  I thought, “Is he some sort of sage or angel?” and “Is he a short, thin, goateed Santa?”  When I asked him about the way he was, he was oblivious.  He saw no difference between how he interacted with people and how other people interacted.  This actually made sense to me since he would bring this attitude out in other people.

Then one day it hit me out of the blue, Paul was very empathetic.  That’s it.

Now, years later, I don’t work with Paul anymore but we do still talk on occasion and each conversation is invariably an enjoyable education in empathy.

Why do I mention this story?  Because we, as Notebookers, need to be very careful not to fall into the pit of narcissism that Notebooking could be (and journaling always is).

If the last few entries in your Notebook begin with:  I think, I went, I saw, I heard, I, I, I, me, me, me!  Yuck.  It might be time for a few exercises in empathy.

Let’s make Notebooking an act of empathy with these Writing Prompts:

  • Think about an experience that you had with a friend where you interacted with someone you didn’t know.  Write the experience from the stranger’s point of view.
  • Using the same experience as before, write about it from your friend’s perspective.
  • Write only good things about a person you deeply dislike.
  • We very easily remember when we were children.  Remembering what it felt like to be a child is much more difficult.  Think of any normal, mundane childhood memory and try to remember what you felt.  Write it.
  • Go somewhere you often go and write about it as if seeing it for the first time.

I think it’s obvious to say that the world would be a better place if we all had a little more empathy.  Never let it be said that Notebookers aren’t empathetic!

My Humble Pleading

Benefits of Notebooking, Filling Your Notebook, Writing Prompts

I can’t seem to go an hour without getting disappointed.  Anytime I look at the headlines or open a social media app or turn on the TV it saddens me.  In this day and age where we have all information and entertainment at our fingertips, everything still seems the same.  People doing bad things.  Whether beloved famous people doing awful things or nobodies getting famous by being their awful selves.  It’s enough to make me want to become a hermit!

I desperately whisper to myself, “No more.”

The following writing prompts are my challenge against the stupid, the ignorant, the depressing.  I might not be able to change all the anger spewing forth from anyone loud enough or contrary enough to be noticed, but I can change what I do.

I humbly ask, no beg, you to join me as I attempt to take back control of my mood and remind myself that the world has some pretty fantastic things in it.

In the climate of angry rants, won’t you join me in a few joyous raves?

  • Rave about a piece of culture  No need to compare it to anything else.  Just choose a song, book, movie, TV show, etc. and write what you like about it.  Write why it makes you happy.
  • Rave about a good dining experience  All it takes is one visit to Yelp to realize that, apparently, everyone cares about parking lots and matching flatware more than they care about food.  I love food.  I eat it almost everyday!  I could easily write pages about a good meal.  In fact, I have many times.  Give it a shot, I promise that you’ll be glad you did.
  • Rave about People  We all have people that we love.  We all have experiences with people that make us happy.  Write the story of any of your incredible people or experiences.
  • Rave about How Lucky You Are  Instead of thinking about all the outrage and all the base behaviors that surround us, take a moment to write about how much good there is out there.  There are so many wonderful things in everyone’s life.  Write about just one of them.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to write about these things.

Some time later…

There.  It’s been 1 hour and I feel fantastic.  I feel like there’s actually hope for happiness after all.  I’m going to add “Raves not Rants” to my Content List because this is better than therapy!

Questions to ask yourself while Notebooking

Adventures in Notebooking, Benefits of Notebooking, Filling Your Notebook, Tips & Tricks, Writing Prompts

We’ve already talked about how Notebooking can help you to ask better questions, in fact, Notebooking is one of the fastest ways to develop your question asking skills.

Want to make it happen faster?  Want to jump start the question asking genius inside your head?  Read on.

We, as Notebookers, often write about our experiences.  Whether recent experiences or distant memories, our lives tend to be the starting point from which we put pen to page.  This is fine.  This is normal.  This can be boring.

What follows is a list of questions that can help your writing and jump start your question asking skills.

When Notebooking an experience try asking yourself some of these questions:

  • What 3 emotions did this experience evoke in you and why?  When we write about an experience it’s easy to fall into the trap of writing only one emotion or tone.  Call it a natural tendency for narrative consistency or tone.  However, emotions rarely travel alone.  They tend to bring their friends.  The truth is that people are complicated so naturally emotions can be complicated too.  If you experience excitement it’s probable you felt anticipation too.  You might have even felt some anxiety.  We’re even capable of feeling conflicting emotions at the same time!  If you experienced the feeling of contented calm maybe you also felt a little melancholy, it happens.  If you’re writing about an experience and you leave out the depth of emotion you felt, you are leaving out some depth of writing.
  • What did you learn?  It’s often said that there are only 2 ways humans learn:  experience and Sesame Street.  If you didn’t learn from an experience you had it might as well have not happened.  Don’t worry though, you can just as easily ask yourself, What can I learn from this experience?
  • What do you wish you had learned from this experience?  Sometimes it’s only through the lens of time that we can fully understand something.  We can get more out of our experiences if we continue to learn from them.
  • Why does this experience stand out in your memory?  You chose this memory to write about, you must have done so for a reason.  Take some time to discover what this experience is trying to tell you.
  • How would you like to remember this experience?  This is where you take control.  We are all haunted by bad or awkward memories yet, through Notebooking and re-framing, we can change how we feel about them.
  • Finally, Summarize this memory in a way that puts it to rest.  This can crystallize a memory in a sort of time capsule.  The power and control we have over our experiences is astonishing.  Use it!

If you ask yourself these questions when you write, not only will your writing improve but you will begin to think in terms of good questions.  Good questions lead to great writing and even greater conversations!

  • Bonus question!  How would you tell a story of this experience that is either funny or self-deprecating?  You know those people who always seem to tell funny and engaging stories?  This is how you become one of those people.

Cock-a-doodle-doo!!!

Adventures in Notebooking, Benefits of Notebooking, Tips & Tricks

In my youth I stayed up late and I slept in like it was my job!  I used to brag about how late I routinely stayed up late.  Sleeping in was a way of life for me.

Then I got a job where I had to wake up early and a funny thing happened, “sleeping in” had a new definition.  All of a sudden getting out of bed at 7am was late and sleeping until noon became simply impossible, where just a few months earlier it was normal.

I used to joke, “I didn’t even know they made a 5 in the morning!” and now it is my favorite time to Notebook!

This all began because I’m not a monster.

Let me explain…

There are certain activities that are not appropriate at certain times.  At 5 in the morning loud things should be avoided unless you’re a monster.  Everyone knows that mowing your lawn or snow blowing your driveway at 5 am (or earlier) should be a federal offense!  While I could go on and on listing things to avoid (tuba practice comes to mind), I won’t.  Happily, Notebooking is one of those things that won’t wake anyone up.

So with Notebook in hand and an inability to sleep past 5 am I, unknowingly, began to irreversibly improve my days and my Notebooking.

Like all good things, this started with a nice beverage.  Coffee to be specific.  Kenya AA I had roasted to City+ 2 days earlier to be exact.  To say that beginning my day with coffee and quiet contemplation improves my life would be an understatement.

It turned out that the simple act of changing my routine had a profound effect on my writing.  Without the crushing weight of a stressful day in the rear-view mirror, I no longer had to try to avoid whining.  In fact my Notebooking entries took on a feeling of optimism and excitement without me noticing.

The frustration I felt at times when my words wouldn’t flow was replaced by a feeling of calm whimsy.  “It’s still the start of the day, there’s always more time to write later”, I would tell myself.  Well, actually that’s not quite true.  I didn’t tell myself that.  I simply felt it.

Interestingly, it became very rare for me to not have anything to write.  Perhaps it was because my mind was a blank slate, or maybe it was because it was quiet so there weren’t any distractions. I think it was because I had both no agenda of what I “had” to write and I had a hard time limit.  I had about an hour and a half before other people started waking up.  In fact, more often than not I would end up doing most of my writing in the last 10-20 minutes.

The best part about early morning writing, for me, was the way my day went better.  On mornings that I was able to write I felt more positive.  I was happier and more cheerful.  It took a lot more to get me down than on days I hadn’t Notebooked.  This is the true magic of early morning writing.

So… how do we do it?

  • Plan Ahead  For as much as you might want the benefits of early morning Notebooking, it won’t happen if you sleep through it.  This means getting up early.  Unfortunately, this might mean getting to bed early.  Trust me, it’s worth it.
  • Try for Natural Light and Fresh Air  Sometimes this makes all the difference, so if the weather is willing and the sun is already awake, seize the morning.
  • Go Somewhere Different  I’m not saying you need to cross state lines.  Start by sitting somewhere different.  A change of scenery can lead to a change of mind.  You might be surprised at how much of a difference it makes.
  • Don’t Rush  Take the time to take it in.  The last thing you want to do is rush through a great experience.

So, is early morning the magic time in which only good stuff happens?  Probably not, but it might be.

How to Re-frame a bad experience into good Notebooking

Adventures in Notebooking, Benefits of Notebooking, Tips & Tricks

One of the greatest powers that Notebooking puts in your hands is re-framing.  Re-framing sounds like one of those “self help” jargon-y terms whose definition is so nebulous as to be, essentially, meaningless.

Not to worry dear reader, it isn’t.  In fact it’s way easier to explain than to do.  And with Notebooking, doing it is pretty easy too!

So, what is it?

Re-framing is, very simply, looking at something a different way.  The term “re-framing” derives from the effect that a painting can look completely different depending on what the frame looks like.

Considering that titles are most emblematic of a literary frame, let’s try some examples.  A Notebooking entry about going to a crowded grocery store could be titled as follows:

The agony of egg acquisition

This definitely sets a tone of a bad experience.  The word “agony” usually has that effect.

-or-

Today I discovered a new kind of crazy

This title sounds fun and it might be a less serious or more humorous take on the same experience.

Here we are talking about the same experience but in two vastly different ways.  The latter title sounds like reading the entry will be a fun romp through people’s absurd behavior in public.  It says, “Let’s all laugh together at the absurd goofiness of all of us.”

The former title says, “Buckle in, I want to complain and whine while displaying a complete inability to cope with everyday tasks.”

Which would you rather read?  Which would you rather write!?

So, how do we re-frame?  Simple.

Here are a few ways in which re-framing while Notebooking becomes easy.

  1. The title method.  I don’t normally entitle Notebook entries but there’s no reason not to.  In fact, I find that when I do use a title, re-framing happens easily and almost automatically.  Also, it can be fun.
  2. Ask a question.  Most Notebooking entries can be summed up as the answer to a question.  Whether that question is specifically asked or simply implied, the question frames the entry.  If you write a whiny entry the implied question is probably something like, “What made you mad?” or “What went wrong?”  Where as, in the case of a good entry the implied question might be, “What was funny?” or “What makes it interesting?”  You can take control of your framing by simply asking yourself a good question before you start writing.
  3. Build a tone.  This one is the hardest to start but the easiest to continue.  The tone of your writing and your notebook has the potential to be a carefully curated master class in re-framing.  Or it could be whiny drivel.  That’s a choice you make every time you put pen to page.  In the beginning you will have to be mindful of the tone you create.  Eventually it will flow very naturally.  Vigilance is key in the beginning.

See?  Pretty easy for the most part.  Also, totally worth it.  When you take control of your framing you get to decide whether or not something is a good experience or a bad one.  You can be in charge of how you think and how you feel about nearly anything!  Gone will be the days when someone else can determine what kind of day you have.

This is the power or re-framing and Notebooking makes it easy!

Everyday, I’m Notebooking

Adventures in Notebooking, Benefits of Notebooking

As you probably already know we recommend that you write daily in your notebook.  20 minutes to be specific.  Taking something that you like to do or want to do or simply want to do better;  then making it a part of your daily routine makes sense.  Right?  Making a daily habit of Notebooking makes such intuitive sense that we almost didn’t question it.  Almost.

When we finally did question it we realized that there’s a lot more going on than we originally thought.  Here is just a few good reasons to make a point of Notebooking daily:

  • It’s Fun!  Whether you enjoy finding new and interesting ways to write creatively or enjoy the challenge of recording experiences in a cool and dynamic form or simply enjoy the tactile experience of putting pen to page, Notebooking is fun.  If you didn’t enjoy it, you wouldn’t be here.
  • It keeps you Mindful  When you write daily you will tend to become more aware of things to write about.  Writing daily puts you and your mind in the position of either “going to write in a few hours” or “just wrote a few hours ago” at all times.  This mentality will keep you more “on the lookout” for good things to write.  This will help your writing flow better and faster.  Being open to a cool quote or an interesting idea you heard will also help your content to be better.
  • Habit of Creativity  Every time you Notebook, you are being creative.  When you write daily, you are creative daily.  Getting into a creative state can be difficult but like any other skill, practice makes perfect.  Being able to jump into a creative state of mind at a moment’s notice is helpful to much more than just writing.  Everything from problem solving to small talk benefits immensely form a creative mind showing up.
  • Become more Insightful  Another side effect of daily Notebooking is that you spend more time thinking.  This might seem obvious, and I suppose it is.  What isn’t readily obvious is the effect this has on the Notebooker.  When you spend more time thinking, particularly thinking in regards to notebooking, the better you get at deeper reflection.  Add to this the inherent reflection you do when you assess your notebook, you end up becoming more insightful.  In this day and age where people bury themselves in devices and social media being insightful is basically a superpower.  A superpower that allows you to think differently, effectively and to be the best conversationalist in the room!
  • Habitual Humor  If you try to write humor daily, something very interesting will happen… You will succeed.  What do I mean by succeed?  I mean that you will, eventually write things that you find funny.  Once that begins happening something else very interesting will happen; you will begin to see things through the lens of humor.  This is fantastic because in addition to becoming quicker with a joke, this will tend to give you a happier and more positive disposition.  Take THAT whining!

Finally, and simplest.  If you Notebook everyday you are much less likely to forget all those good things you want to Notebook!

Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens

Benefits of Notebooking, Filling Your Notebook, The System

These are a few of Julie Andrews’ favorite things.  And now that I’ve got that song stuck in my head, let’s talk about a few of MY favorite things…to write about.  Or your favorite things to write about.  Well, really, we’re taking about the Content List.

Ultimately, that’s what a content list is, a list of favorite things to write about.  An evergreen well of inspiration you can return to time and time again.  Kind of like one of our writing prompts, right?

NO.

Writing prompts and a Content List are like opposite sides of the same coin.

If writing from your inexhaustible well of a Content List is like coming home then writing from our writing prompts is like going on a trip.  A trip directly away from your comfort zone and away from any plans or preconceived notions you may have.

Your Content List is custom built by you to create a feel and identity for your Notebooking content.  You can use it as inspiration to challenge yourself or chronicle your growth.  You can use your Content List as a checklist to help ensure the dynamic diversity of content you envision.  Ultimately, your content list should serve as a guide to creating the kind of content you want in your notebook.

If your Content List is like a guide then a good writing prompt is like a muse, inspiring you to strike out into the creative unknown.

Hard to believe though it may be, we work very hard and discuss at length what writing prompts we put out.  There’s a good reason for that.

A quick google search will yield some of the worst writing prompts you can imagine.  Prompts like:

“Write about your summer vacation.”

or

“Write about something that frustrates you.”

REALLY?!

Our goal with writing prompts is a little more productive and, dare I say, much more useful.  I’m sure that you could, with very little forethought, write about your frustrating coworkers but what does that get you?  Frustrated.

In the Notebooking Nerds method, a writing prompt is designed to nudge you out of your comfort zone and down the road to growth and creativity.  Of course a good writing prompt is only half of the equation.  How you use it is the other half.  Actually, come to think of it, how you use it is more than half.  Way more.  Here’s why:

The best way to use a good writing prompt is to follow it out of your comfort zone.  This means it’s something you haven’t thought about very much before and certainly something you haven’t written about, at length, before.  Ideally, the first time you see it is the first time you’ve thought about it.  It may not be the best thing you’ve ever written but going along for the ride with a good writing prompt is the best way to train your creativity to flow quickly and on command.

Does that mean that you can only use a writing prompt once?  Not exactly.  When I use a writing prompt I try to not use it again until some time has passed.  That way, when I go back to it, it seems fresh.  You don’t have to though, you could try it on for size again and again.  Of course, after a while, it isn’t nudging you out of your usual writing because it has become your usual writing.  At that point simply add it to your Content List and enjoy it!

As you can see, there is a big difference between writing prompts and your Content List.  Both are helpful in creating dynamic content and fostering well-rounded growth as a writer and a thinker.  Just remember, the quality of the writing prompt you use is just as important as the quality of your Content List.

How Notebooking teaches you to ask good questions

Adventures in Notebooking, Benefits of Notebooking, The System

We’ve all heard hundreds of times that good questions are open ended and insightful while bad questions are yes or no questions, Blah! Blah! Blah!

You know what no one ever does?  Teach how to ask better questions.  Want to know why?  Because it’s really hard if not impossible to teach.  Luckily, it is possible to learn.  Luckier still, a Notebooker does this automatically!  Here’s how…

Every time you write a notebook entry about an experience, you are answering an unspoken question.  If your entry was insightful, you’re asking an insightful question of yourself.  Then answering it.

Every single time you write about a bad experience and re-frame1 it into a good or, at least, interesting experience, you are asking yourself some re-framing questions.

These questions you ask yourself are nearly always unspoken but make no mistake, they’re there!  This happens automatically and naturally.  In fact, the better you get at writing insightful, entertaining and dynamic entries the better you become at asking insightful, entertaining and dynamic questions!

This is a very good skill to have because better questions allow you to effortlessly become a gifted conversationalist.  People love the sound of their own voice and people love talking about themselves.  Ask someone a good open-ended question and they will talk and talk.  You won’t have to say much if anything at all!  Then later, when they think back to that conversation they enjoyed so much, they will remember how much they enjoyed talking to you.  Not that you only asked a few good questions and let them talk.

Ask someone an insightful question that goes to the heart of a story and they will think they had some grand epiphany!

If someone is having a bad day or telling you a whiny story (ugh), ask them a re-framing question and watch, with confidence, as their story transforms from a complain-y mess to a smile inducing anecdote!

And that’s just the beginning of it.  With an arsenal of great questions you crafted through Notebooking you can have great conversations that go as long or as short2 as you like.

Are you ready for the best part?  Even though this happens naturally through good Notebooking, it is really and intuitive to speed up the process.

How?

This is my favorite part, probably due to its shocking simplicity:

You ask yourself a good question!  Just one, “What questions am I answering?”  This may seem simple because it is.  You might be skeptical because it’s too simple.  Allow me to assure you with a few examples:

Let’s say you take a trip to a store and have a bad time.  Let’s say you then Notebooked about it and tried to re-frame the experience into a funny story.  Whatever you come up with when you answer, “What questions am I asking myself?” will be re-framing questions.

Maybe you write an entry about an experience you had and at the end of the entry you found an insightful realization.  “What questions do I answer?”  Your answer is going to be some very good and insightful questions.

Faster than you think, this will turn into the habit and talent of asking good questions.  Enjoy!

Buy Some New Pants Already! (a.k.a. The Power of Progress)

Adventures in Notebooking, Benefits of Notebooking

I was talking with a friend recently and the topic of notebooks came up (because, of course it did, I’m obsessed!).  He told me that he had gotten a notebook with the hopes of filling it with his burgeoning artistic drawings.  He then told me he filled it, and I could, in no uncertain terms, never see it!  Apparently it was bad.  “Cringe-y” he said.  “Embarrassing” he said.

I didn’t understand.  It was his first try.  Of course it was bad.  Everyone, also, sucks at walking on their first try.  I said he should keep it and refer to it often.  It is the first step in a journey towards drawing well.  That’s something to be proud of.  “Imagine how satisfying it will be to go back and see how much you’ve improved!” I said.  “What a dynamic way to record your progress!” I exclaimed.

He wasn’t so sure and understandably so, his notebook could be a very embarrassing and vulnerable thing to hang on to.

This got me thinking about those absurd pictures of people wearing GIANT pants after weight loss.  Why are they still wearing those pants!?  Why do they still have them?  Don’t they know where to buy pants!?  Do they need some VERY basic help?

Obviously, I know they do it to show progress and, with weight loss, progress is to be celebrated.  The problem here is that creative progress, whether drawing or Notebooking, is something people tend to be ashamed of.  There seems to be this idea floating around where if you lose fat, gain muscle or redecorate your house for basic cable, you should show off how bad things were before.  Yet, in creative endeavors, you’re expected to already be perfect!  Hogwash, I say!

No one is great at anything they try for the first time!  Don’t believe me?  Think of literally anything you do.  Now think of the first time you did it.  I’m not even talking about hard stuff!  Eating, walking, or doing your taxes.  Hell, we even need a little help breathing for the first time!  Everything takes practice.

If you fear being bad at something, you will end up avoiding getting better at it.  This fear can paralyze us.  So, what do we do?

Embrace it!

Embrace your flaws the way you would embrace a close friend as you’re saying goodbye.  Because, that’s what you’re doing, saying goodbye to your flaws.

This is the Power of Progress.  Not only will Notebooking about a learning process help you to progress in your studies faster, Notebooking it will make for some REALLY interesting and dynamic content.

Want to learn to cook?  Notebooking about what you made, how it tasted, what you will do different in the future and what you learned will make you a better cook much faster than following recipe after recipe and not pausing to think about it.

Want to start distance running?  Good for you1!  Notebook your progress!  That way, when you finish your first marathon (hopefully while resting your tired legs) you can look back at that first day running.  When just half a mile threatened to turn your legs into jelly and your lungs felt like they were on fire!

With anything you do, as you progress you get better.  Notebooking your journey of improvement can not only help you to get better faster, it can also be some really amazing content too!

Well, it won’t help your tennis game but…

Adventures in Notebooking, Benefits of Notebooking

More than 10 years ago I read an article in a magazine about the unexpected exercises that professional athletes do.  I don’t know why I read it since I really don’t care about professional sports.  Maybe I was stuck in a doctor’s waiting room or something.  Either way, one of them stuck with me.  Apparently, tennis players practice focusing their eyes on things far away and then things very close.  Back and forth.  This makes sense considering that tennis ball moves from far away to very close quite quickly1. This was something of a revelation to 10 years younger Kevin.  The idea that tennis players would try to get better at tennis by doing something other than playing tennis was new and almost bizarre to me.

For reasons that are as much a mystery to me as why I was reading the article, I began doing this while I was sitting at traffic lights.  I’m not sure what I expected to happen.  I didn’t play tennis then and I still don’t.  Needless to say, it did nothing for my non-existent tennis game.  In fact, it only succeeded in giving me a mild headache.

Remembering this recently made me think of Notebooking (most things make me think of Notebooking).  I realized that Notebooking can help someone get better at other things2.

 

Notebooking is an exercise in quick thinking and fast wit

When you Notebook, you spend time each day engaging in creation.  Creating content, but not just any old content.  Most Notebooking is essentially creating humor, wit, insight and fulfilling aspirations on a daily basis.  The more you do it the better you get.  The better you get the faster and easier these things will come to you.

We’ve all been in conversations where someone comes up with a joke so fast that we’ve been floored (even fast puns can be impressive!).  If you’re human, you’ve probably felt a twinge of jealousy as well.  That little voice in the back of your mind that says, “I wish I could’ve come up with that.” That’s a natural reaction.  Luckily, there is something you can do to be the one who comes up with the fast joke or insightful remark.  Luckier still, you are already doing it!

Good news!  You can!

Every time you write something funny in your notebook, you’re practicing your style of humor.  When you then write some meaningful prose about anything, you’re training yourself to be insightful.  This switching between topics yet still creating quality content is the goal of Notebooking.  When you do this, you’re also training yourself to be quick witted without even trying!

Any time you look at one of the items on your Content List (or any of the writing prompts we’ve posted) and begin writing straight away, you are getting better at being that quick witted, interesting jokester.

Habitual Notebooking is like building a switch in your mind that allows you to be “on point” whenever you want!  Eventually, you’ll be in a conversation and you will bust out some quick witted joke or insightful comment or question without even trying.  Or even noticing, honestly.

And won’t it be nice to have other people to be jealous of your wit?

 

How Notebooking will make you a better story teller

Adventures in Notebooking, Benefits of Notebooking

When I first started notebooking I was a pretty good story teller.  Or so I thought.  I could tell a few funny stories and I could tell someone about my day.  I was often told I was a good storyteller.

What I learned, through notebooking, was that people were more polite than I was engaging.  I learned good story telling and here’s how it happened.

I started by telling stories like everyone else, recounting what had happened.  That worked well enough but in retrospect I think I left a lot of people unsure of whether my story was done or not.  Of course, in my naive delusion, I probably thought I was leaving them speechless!

Like most adolescents, I basically vomited the details of a story.  Eventually I started writing in a notebook.  Not Notebooking as we talk about it here, mind you.  I would write down things in a way that I felt was clever.  It was not.

Basically, I was more, “Brevity is the soul of wit” and less “specificity is the soul of narrative.”  Eventually, my storytelling suffered as I lost the most important part of a story, the point.

Thankfully, through notebooking, I learned that stories weren’t stories without a point.  More specifically I learned this during the assessment phase.  Most specifically, it was that someone else had gotten a hold of my notebook (it happens).  She asked what these “stories” were about.  That floored me.  I had a notebook full of stories that she had read and had no idea what they were about!

Everyone knows that a story needs a beginning, middle and an end.  Notebooking taught me that a story needs a point.

Notebooking also taught me that a story needs an audience.  In your notebook, that’s you during assessment.  In your jokes, the audience is the listener.  If you’re reading Dr. Seuss your audience is most likely children.  Notebooking allows you to re-read a story of yours.  To hone it and focus it for a purpose or a point.

I knew I had improved my story telling when people stopped telling me I was a good story teller and started asking me to re-tell stories.

A not so final word about whining

The greatest gift notebooking can give you is to destroy that complaining little child that lives inside all of us.  This gift takes the form of re-reading your notebook and it making you cringe.  That cringe is the feeling of whining leaving your storytelling.

What I learned about Notebooking at the Joe Dodge Lodge

Adventures in Notebooking, Benefits of Notebooking, Tips & Tricks

My wife is a hiker.  In the White Mountains of New Hampshire there are 48 mountains over 4000 feet and she decided to hike all of them.  No easy feat to be sure.  Recently she hiked her final “4000 footer” as they’re called and she wanted me there.  Graciously, she decided that the last mountain would be Wildcat D which has a ski lift gondola that I could ride to the top as there’s no way I could hike up there under my own locomotion.

While there we stayed at the Joe Dodge Lodge, which is a very cool place with lots of fireside lounges and scenic outdoor sitting spots.  Pretty great for Notebooking. Here are a few things I learned (or re-learned) while there.

  • Finding a nice surface to write on is easy but very important, especially with small passport style notebooks.
  • Notebooking in situations where being social is expected can be a burden.
  • Recording the day’s events for posterity at the end of the day can be difficult.  Writing Jot Points in a Spartan or Passport Style notebook throughout the day helps immeasurably.
  • Things to notebook happen while times to notebook must, at times, be created.
  • Finding a Notebooking area, whether scenic or cozy, is always worth the effort.  Especially in the White Mountains since it’s pretty easy.
  • I love the combined sounds of a roaring fire and pencil scratching.  Not profound but a simple pleasure none the less.
  • Good writing prompts can also make excellent conversation starters.

How Notebooking will make you a Conversational Ninja

Adventures in Notebooking, Benefits of Notebooking

We’ve all been on the painful end of a conversation. Whether it’s the guy who drones on about a topic you don’t give 2 figs about, or the rambling storyteller who never even gets close to having a point, or the monosyllabic responder with her “Yes.”, “Yes.”, “No.” that forces you into the role of a journalist – few things are more common than an uncomfortable conversation.

As a professional public speaker, I pay an obsessive amount of attention to people’s speaking habits (both formal and informal). What I’ve discovered is that while people are clearly aware of times they are stuck talking to a painful conversationalist, these same people are oblivious when they are the ones inducing pain.

Fact is, we are all terrible conversationalists at some points, but Notebooking can help make those times few and far between. How? Here’s 4 ways:

1) Notebooking makes you a better listener

Want to know a secret? The best conversationalists spend the least amount of time actually talking1. Most people spend a lot of their “listening time” in a conversation thinking about what they’ll say next. So truly listening has become a lost art. But as you begin Notebooking your conversations and encounters, you’re going to want to have something to write on the page. This means you’ll ask more questions, better questions, and followup questions. Good conversationalists ask good questions. And if you’re going to Notebook about this later, you’ll be forced to come up with lots of good questions.

2) Notebooking makes you focus on often-overlooked details

The more you Notebook, the more you realize how important those seemingly trivial details are. It’s the details that will make your narratives come alive. It’s choosing 1 word over another that will transform the mundane sentence into a passionate plea. It’s when we record the details of an experience that we can re-tell it well. So as we Notebook, we train ourselves to focus in on the details. Details are huge in being an apt conversationalist. When we’re listening, that focus on the details will show that you’re truly interested and supply you with a million good questions. When we’re talking, it’s the details that will transform your story from ‘just another narcissistic rant’ into a ‘hilarious rendering of a unique story’. Which of these descriptions do you want to be known for?

3) Notebooking helps us to be better storytellers

Of course, you can have so many details that you lose any semblance of a plot. Or you can take so many tangents that a storyline disappears. Knowing what to include, what to dismiss, when to be serious, and when to be flippant is an art form that few have mastered. But every time you write down a story in your Notebook, every time you record a trip or event or even a silly annoyance, you are practicing that art. The more you Notebook, the more refined your sense of storytelling will become. After you’ve Notebooked a hundred stories (with time to think about flow, emphasis, and whatever else you want to include), it will become natural to edit yourself in a way that brings out the best and minimizes unhelpful deviations.2

4) Notebooking will give you an arsenal of well-developed stories and ideas

Okay, so you can’t think quickly on your feet? Not a problem for the Notebooker. You’ve already recorded your best stories, captured your most profound thoughts, and made some funny content, to boot. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel. Just recount the best of the stuff you’ve already Notebooked, and you’ll be far more interesting than the next person.

 

Having a conversation is easy. Having a great conversation is hard. But Notebooking helps you to have great conversations, and people love great conversationalists!

 

Notebooking vs. Journaling

Adventures in Notebooking, Benefits of Notebooking, The System

For years, I kept a journal. It’s a great way to express yourself and think through what’s going on in your life. I even consider Ira Progoff to be one of the people who was fundamental to my ‘adulting’ process. But when I’m Notebooking in public and someone comes up to chat and says, “Oh, you keep a journal too?”, it takes all the willpower I can muster not to give a lengthy speech of clarification.

Notebooking is different from journaling. Why? A few reasons…

Both involve “expression”, but they don’t express the same thing

A quick perusal of journaling ‘how-to’s will lead you down the path of self-expression. The goal of journaling is to take all the thoughts and emotions that are clogging up your brain, and getting them out on paper so that you can engage in reflection and self-care. It’s very therapeutic. Notebooking isn’t about therapy. It’s about creativity. The goal is still expressing yourself, but you’re expressing yourself by recording hobbies, humor, creative writing, profound thoughts and personal projects. Which leads us to the next difference between the two:

Notebooks are multi-faceted. Journals have a singular focus.

One of the core ideas of Notebooking is that you want to start with a Content List. While it’s not against the rules to Notebook on a single subject1, our system works best with having multiple subjects going at any one time. It’s perfectly appropriate to have a recipe on one page, followed by the first draft of a wedding toast, followed by a conversation you overheard at Starbucks that morning. Variety is the spice of life, and we like our Notebooks spicy! But journals are geared to pick a topic and stay on topic. Whether it’s working through your anxiety, recording your dreams each night, or recalling conversations and writing down what you wish you had said, journaling is designed to keep these topics separate, each in their own book.

Journaling is meant to be private. Not so with Notebooking!

Most journaling websites will encourage you to keep your journal to yourself. While you’re allowed to share it with someone you love and trust, the idea is that journals are for your eyes only! Here at NotebookingNerds, we encourage you to make your notebooks “Stranger Safe”. You’re not necessarily writing to show off, but you shouldn’t be embarrassed if someone picks up your notebook unexpectedly. Personally, I’m happy to share my notebook with anyone who asks. This wouldn’t be the case if it was filled with my deepest, darkest, most intimate thoughts.

But while journaling is inwardly focused, Notebooking is outwardly focused.

This is perhaps the most crucial difference between the two. Journaling touches on the outside world, but only enough to focus on one’s own opinions, emotions, reflections, and reactions. Notebooking touches on ourselves, but the center of the action is engagement with the world. Whether it’s describing a scene, recording an event, recalling humorous interactions, or pursuing goals, the focus of Notebooking is outside of ourselves. Journaling centers the action inside your own head.

Ultimately, this makes all the difference when it comes to the tone of your writing…

The number 1 rule of Notebooking is “No Whining!”. When you’re engaged with the outside world, and the action is centered beyond yourself, this is easy. All it takes is a bit of grace and a modicum of tact. However, journaling lends itself to whining. Because the goal of journaling is to honestly express your every thought about the world, the only way to avoid whining is to be so overwhelmingly pollyannish that nothing ever disturbs you or gets you down. That’s an unrealistic and impossible standard for anyone.

All of this isn’t to say that journaling can never be useful. If you have issues you want to work through, or find that writing your thoughts down on paper helps you to make sense of your life, then go ahead and keep a journal. But if you want to be more creative, more engaging, more social, and more interesting, then Notebooking is the avenue you should pursue.

Why you should keep contact info in your notebook

Adventures in Notebooking, Benefits of Notebooking, Tips & Tricks

Isn’t it easier to put someone’s number/email/whatever into your mobile device?  Yes.  Obviously.  In fact, I find that when I make a call it’s usually from my phone (imagine that!).  Since that’s where the number is going to get used it should go there.

But Contact Info?  No, that’s different and possibly more important.

Thing’s to write down after meeting someone

  • Name This one is surprisingly easy to forget.
  • Appearance Be kind.  Also, try not focus on clothes as people tend to change their clothes.  This is mostly to help you recognize this person in the future.
  • Job/hobbies Basically, this is why you know them or where you know them from
  • Personal details  Do they have kids?  How many?  Are they all human?  Spouse?  Human too?
  • What are they into Or more specifically, what are they excited to talk about?  It shouldn’t take you very long to find this out.  People usually talk about things they are excited to talk about.  That’s why they’re talking about them.
  • Something you like about them As you’ll see later, this has many benefits.
  • Finally, a few things you talked with this person about  This, too, will help in a few ways.

After your initial meeting with someone, you’ll want to write this stuff in your notebook.  Then, when you see them again, you will have all this minor but important information to draw on for conversation.

As an example, I recently met Doug.

  • Name Doug
  • Appearance Horn-rimmed glasses, greying buzz cut and ready with a friendly smile
  • Job/hobbies Works with computers in some way.  Into gaming, both video and tabletop.  His wife, Peg, isn’t.  Likes hiking.
  • Personal details  No kids.  One wife (Peg)
  • What are they into  Hiking.  Star Wars RPG.  Just bought a smoker.
  • Something you like about them Big booming laugh when he gets excited
  • Finally, a few things you talked with this person about  Hiking, his knee surgery & subsequent recovery, and he bought a smoker but it hasn’t arrived yet.

The next time I see Doug I will have looked over these notes and already have several questions to ask him:

  • Got in any good hikes lately?
  • How’s Peg?
  • What have you been playing? When Peg let’s you! (insert knowing chuckle here)
  • Have you used your smoker yet?  How did it turn out?

That’s potentially a half hour of conversation without mentioning the weather once!

When you talk with people in this manner they will gravitate towards you.  Everyone loves to feel heard and remembering details about them makes them feel valued.  This also takes the pressure off.  We often worry about what to say during an awkward conversation.  Here’s the secret:  Don’t say anything.  Just ask a few good questions and listen.  Then go and update your notes.  Be specific and as detailed as you can.  If someone tells you about their ailing grandmother and after a month you approach them with, “Don’t you got a dead guy on the way?”  you need better notes.  (And possibly a soul)

Who do you record then?

You will never go wrong writing notes on everyone you meet.  If you never see them again then you’ve wasted a few lines of your notebook and a few minutes.  If, however, you do see them again… You will be the most likable person they’ve met in a long time.

It isn’t a bad idea to use this with people you’ve known for a while, either.  Honestly, I should use this when I talk to my wife half the time!